Past of our lives
by ThePuppet
Summary: -Bad title is bad-  Soundwave, usually composed and often quiet, finds out he is able to connect with starscream because of their similar back stories. The two have to deal with their pasts to move on together. G1 Soundwave/Starscream M for later chapters
1. Robot Bar fight

_**Yeah-ya! My first Soundwave/Starscream fic! I'm so happeh! I had a friend at one point who loved this couple. And of course, talking to her yesterday I thought of my favorite TF love triangle (Starscream X Soundwave, Soundwave X Megatron) **_

_**Soundwave is my little pairing whore XD! He's just so perfect with everyone (W-what am I the only one who thinks that 0_o)But yes. **_

_**I tried to keep them all as normal but it may go a bit OOC throughout the story. Hope you enjoy!**_

_**Everytime you don't review, God kills a puppy. Please think of the puppies!**_

_**Soundwave's POV**_

He's in trouble again? How often does one little Seeker need to fail before he gets it through his processor? Megatron drags Starscream by the wing through the command center. Starscream was whimpering and growling; sometimes so softly only I could hear him.

"Soundwave!" The large silver mech calls me. "Take Starscream to Hook, tell him to cut this traitor's wings off inch by inch!" Megatron yells, crimson optics glaring at the younger tri-colored Seeker who was trying to pry Megatron's hand off his wing.

"Yes Lord Megatron." I salute, snatching the small Decepticon up by his shoulder and restraining his hands. Our leader trudges off and I head to the med bay with Starscream. Surprisingly he doesn't say a word the whole time, it was strange. I could feel his trembling from the pain in his wing; it must be hard to have to care for such an expanse of sensitive metal.

"Recommendation: Don't fuck around with Megatron so often." Call it reflex from having two young siblings, but I couldn't help but feel bad for him. He was a hard worker, it's just whenever he did do good work, Megatron wasn't around. Starscream turns his head away from me in the equivalent of a pout, it was always so childishly adorable.

"That's easy for you to say." The Seeker mumbles, still not facing me at all. It makes me angry, no one understands my predicament; and they all joke about it. "Megatron slaggin' loves you." He snarls, yanking on his binds a bit, but giving up quickly. What he says is all too true, which is just that much more obnoxious.

"That's not always the best emotion to gain from Megatron." I admit, stopping my movement forward and looking at the floor; trying to calm myself down. One thing I was really bad a, was holding in emotions like anger. Starscream offers me a confused look and shifts his now stiff shoulders.

He switches from confusion to anger, "Hm, what is _that _supposed to mean? I've never seen you once get beat up. You're always by our _glorious leader's _side." Starscream growls, looking away again. It was always hard to talk about my loyalty, I could never explain to anybody just how much I owed Megatron. Especially not to an arrogant Seeker like Starscream. I move over and un-cuff him without a word. "What are you-" The Seeker begins, rubbing his sore wing and wrists.

I spin back around and grab him by the shoulder, "Listen. I'm letting you go. Like you said; Megatron wouldn't hurt me like he hurts you." I couldn't help but shout; I was angry, but not at Starscream, at myself really. I'd never been so happy to wear a visor and face mask. "I do a lot to keep by Megatron. And I'm getting pretty tired of you screwing up his plans and hurting him all the time. I owe him _my _life Starscream!" A look of surprise crosses the smaller mech's face. "And I really don't wan to end up hurting you one day, to protect him."

Oh _fuck_! I didn't mean to say that! Starscream flinches and looks at me with wide crimson optics. "S-Soundwae I-" Primus I can't believe it came out like that! I turn and walk off, quicker than usual of course.

Starscream stands in the hall and rubs the back of his helm.

_**Starscream'sPOV**_

That was strange. Not typical behavior for Soundwave was it? I pace around my room, my wing having been fixed, there was only one thing I could think about; Soundwave's weird behavior earlier.

"Perhaps he really _is _sick of me trying to kill Megatron. Wow, I never thought of anyone else actually _liking _Megatron, or the fact they would get mad at me for trying to overthrow him…hm." Well, I might have been a scientist, but I wasn't the type who thought about all variables, only the ones that appealed to me.

My comm. Link buzzes annoyingly and I answer it hesitantly. "Yes, Starscream here." I say into the comm. Skywarp is on the other end.

"Hey 'Screamer. Wanna join my and TC for some energon later?" My younger wing mate asks.

I don't think drinks are what I really want right now, it sounds good but… "I need to stay and do some work tonight bu-"

"Aw c'mon! Grapple, Hook, Shockwave and even Soundwave are coming!" The eager Seeker lists loudly. Well it does sound fun and…wait!

"Soundwave? How the hell did you get him to come along?" I ask back, surprised Soundwave did anything other than work.

"Well actually Megatron is making him. Says he needs some time off. Weird huh, Megatron is_ never _that nice!" Skywarp points out laughing. "C'mon man! Don't be such an Autobot." He pushes. Sighing I agree to go along and switch off my comm..

_**Soundwave's POV**_

Primus I hate Megatron right now. Stuck at a bar with five drunken idiots. I look over to Starscream, sitting in a booth with two other Decepticons. Make that only…four drunken idiots. He was facing out of the booth on the edge of the seat with a barley touched energon in his blue servo. His long, white legs were crossed and his wings fluttered every so often when one of the guys got too close to them.

"Hey Seeker!" A mech larger than me, with dark green armor and yellow optics steps in front of Starscream. The tri-colored Seeker looks up and narrows his optics dangerously, an admirable quirk he had.

"What?" Starscream snaps back. The green 'bot grins and yanks him up by the collar plates, lifting him off his pedes. "Put me down!" the Seeker snarls, pointing his arm-mounted gun at him. Outlaw, as his name apparently was, bends the muzzle of the gun back on both arms.

"I'm sorry little Seeker, I just wanted to introduce myself." Outlaw says in the same tone you would talk to a youngling in. Too drunk to notice anything wrong, Hook and Skywarp jus keep laughing at their jokes. Starscream's faceplate contorts in to one of pain, suggesting Outlaw is crushing his collar plating. "You're lookin' too good to be here by yourself. Somethin' might happen o ya'." The large mech grins, pushing Starscream around the table to a wall, keeping him in his shadow. "Ya' ever been with a mech twice your size Seeker? It's one hell of a time." Outlaw smiles and grabs Starscream's face, smashing their lips together.

Starscream struggles against the larger mech, raking his fingers down his armor. The green mech wraps his free arm around Starscream's waist, pulling him against his broad chest. Enough of this slag! I stand up and hurry over, grabbing Outlaw's shoulder and turning him around as far as I could. He looks at me with a twinge of annoyance. "Hey buddy, I'm kinda bussy."

I take no second thought in implanting my knuckle joints into his sad excuse for a faceplate.

_**Starscream's POV**_

Apparently Soundwave really packs a punch, because he send the mech skidding backwards; through tables and chairs. He practically picks me up after I ended up on the floor and moves me back over to Thundercracker; who had rushed over after seeing Soundwave deck the mech. My older wing mate steps up next to Soundwave and raises his arm, pointing his gun at Outlaw.

"Oh you're gonna regret that!" The green mech growls, flicking ruble off him. He grabs a fairly large rock he had kicked up from the floor and hurls it towards TC and Soundwave. It hits Soundwave's visor, shattering the sensitive glass. He winces and puts a servo over one of his optics. I can see purple/pink energon leaking through the spaces in his hand; some of the glass must've got in his optic.

Thundercracker is first to fire, aiming at Outlaw's chest and head. Soundwave recovers quickly but doesn't remove his hand. The tape deck places a well aimed shot to the green mech's shoulder joint, causing him to growl in pain and jump to his pedes. Outlaw grabs a bottle and motions for two of his buddies over. TC lowers his arm and stands in a ready position, Soundwave does the same but throws his gun to me. He moves his other hand from his face, getting ready to fight.

As they begin to brawl, the thought occurred to me that…Soundwave, just had his optic shattered…essentially for me. And now both he and Thundercracker are fighting because of me; Primus do I feel like a douche.

Skywarp, drunk as hell, cheers on the fight whilst hanging over Hook's shoulder. I can't stand this; it's not that I don't support fighting; it's that I don't like causing it. I begin to sneak my way around to where Outlaw is in the process of ripping Soundwave's face mask off.

"**All of you stop!**" That was the voice I planned on using when I finally became leader of the Decepticons. With Soundwave's gun pointed at Outlaw, the other two mechs stopped tussling with Thundercracker. "Drop the knife." I snarl at one of the smaller mechs. "And _you…_" I look at Outlaw, pushing the gun against the back of his helm. "Let. Him. Go."

He drops Soundwave to the floor, poor tape deck was covered in bleeding wounds and scratched paint. "Now get out of here. And take your friends." I order, glaring at the two other mechs who were smaller than me. They both hurry towards the door and I walk Outlaw in the same direction. I release his arm and shove him to the door. He turns and glares at me.

"Of course…one more thing though." Outlaw says. He pulls out a rifle and points it at me. "Goodbye Seeker." The larger mech smiles as he pulls the trigger. I shut my optics and brace for the pain and possible off-lining. But two hands place themselves on my shoulders and spin me around. Soundwave takes the shot in the back and cringes at the pain, but doesn't hesitate turning around and using his shoulder-mounted machine gun. Barley dodging the barrage of bullets Outlaw runs out the door and transforms to drive away. I didn't want to open my optics, but I hear Soundwave sigh and turn back to face me, putting his hands back in place. His helm touches the back of mine before I feel his whole presence just disappear.

"Soundwave!" Thundercracker shouts, moving around me to the tape deck's side. TC didn't look good either, the one mech who had the knife had destroyed his chest and had slit his cheek and neck. Soundwave lay unconscious on the ground, bleeding from his optic still and now from the hole in his back.

Absently, as Thundercracker picks him up and hurries out with everyone behind him, I think hos handsome Soundwave looks without his visor and face mask. It makes me wonder why he wears it. Perhaps it hand something to do with what he said earlier, maybe it's not jus me, maybe Megatron has done something that causes him to be so reserved and private.

_**TBC**_

_**Yeah Sara, tell them it'll be just a little OOC. **_

_**You f*king idiot. -_-**_

_**Yeah I understand that was complete OOC for about everyone but Megatron. Well what can I say? A fangirl's mind is an enigma.**_


	2. Broken Visor

_ZOMG Another chapter! Man I rock at this!_

_Anycrap:_

_Do we finally find out why Soundwave got so angry when taking Starscream to the med bay? Did Soundwave die from that bar fight? __**Do we find out what the hell Cal Ripken is doing?**_

_Hell I dun'know. Maybe you should stop asking so many damn questions and read God dammit!_

_Every time you don't review God kills a puppy! Please think of the puppies!. _

_**Starscream's POV**_

"What the slag happened?" Megatron roars entering the med bay and seeing his 3IC unconscious in the berth. He turns his head to Hook, then me, noticing my weapons were destroyed. "Starscream?" He tries to get a response.

I flinch thinking he was going to punish me for this. "Uh we were at the bar and, well…" I didn't want to tell him the reason _why _the fight happened; Megatron would want to know eventually thought. "There was a fight and Soundwave and Thundercracker tried to stop the three mechs involved." I say standing as straight as I could.

"How did it start?" Megatron asks. Damn, I knew it.

"Well, the one mech was larger than you sir. And he…well…" Primus I can't say it, it's too degrading. Noticing my hesitation and inability to meet his optics, the silver gunformer goes to scorn me.

"He was in the process or raping Starscream." Hook says bluntly but in a concerned way. Megatron looks surprised and looks down on me and then to the two injured mechs near Hook. "Soundwave went to help him and the group of them started fighting." The constructicon adds, looking back to fixing Soundwave's cuts on his face. Megatron glances at me once more and moves to the tape deck's side. Skywarp and the others had left by now and Hook left to wash his servos and such.

Soundwave shifts and opens his yellow/gold optics, starring up at Megatron. "Lord Megatron…I…" He says breathily, trying to sit up. A black servo pushes him back down.

"No, whatever you have to say can wait. Just recover for now." Megatron says, freaking me out by caressing Soundwave's jaw line. The blue mech nods weakly and rests back a bit. "Good." The silver mech hums, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss to Soundwave's lips.

My spark skips for a moment, and I can't help but flinch a bit, I definitely did not see that coming. Before Megatron can turn around I turn and lean against the wall, trying to act like I saw nothing; even if it'd be their own fault if I did.

So many thoughts were running through my processor. The big one being: **When the hell did this happen?** And then there was the thing in the hall earlier, when Soundwave said having Megatron's 'love' wasn't the best.

"Starscream." Damn. I flip around and salute Megatron. "Stay here and watch after him. Make sure you're both back in top functioning condition before returning to duty." He commands in a less harsh voice than usual. I nod and he walks out.

I couldn't help but bring up the topic as soon as the doors closed. "Is _that_ what you meant? I wasn't being serious when I said he _loved _you!" I try not to shout in surprise. The tape deck sits up and hangs his legs off the berth.

"Yes actually." He says with a frown. He motions to the empty berth across from his and I move and sit on it. "I need to tell someone this because I'm beginning to have trouble with the whole ordeal." That concerns me, Soundwave doesn't have internal conflicts. "Megatron…does, love me. But not like in a mates kind of way." The tape deck begins, looking at the floor. "More like…mh…" He stops, scrapping his legs together.

I had an idea, I have experience the same relationship, by force though. Perhaps Soundwave here is going through the same thing! "More like…you're his slam piece?" Soundwave looks up surprised at the blunt words.

Crap-shit-damn-mother f*cker: why the hell can't I be _gentler_ with words?

"Sadly yes." The tape deck mumbles to my surprise. His yellow optics dim considerably and a cherry color covers his faceplate. I can't help but hold back a smile, I finally understand why Soundwave wears all that damn facial armor: because he's so handsome normally, and when he's flustered: he's so damn cute! "I'm just…so tired of it." His frame trembles slightly as he shuts his optics tightly.

I have to say something, I feel so…sad for him; mainly because I can imagine that Megatron making love isn't much different than his beatings, and I did _not _enjoy those. A soft _'plink' _catches me from my thoughts and I look up. Clear, coolant tears trail small streams down Soundwave's pale face.

He's crying…

"Soundwave…" I whisper, not knowing what exactly to say. The usually clear minded, composed mech curls in on himself, putting his face in his hands. Against better judgment, I walk over and sit next to him, draping my arms around him. I feel him flinch just slightly, but more so I feel his chassis quiver and hear long held-in sobs.

Suddenly the tape deck moves around to face me and brings his arms to circle my waist. I flinch as he had but return my arms to around his shoulders. I could tell he was trying not to touch my wings, mainly because the way he was holding me seemed so uncomfortable.

Primus, I _am _holding him aren't I? And _he's _holding _me _isn't he? I'm going soft I swear.

Soundwave unconsciously nuzzles the side of my helm, simply seeking comfort in his life of mayhem and confusion. It makes my faceplates flush a cherry red either way. I had actually never felt so secure, never felt like I could let my guard down. Perhaps I should allow this to happen more often.

"Thank you Starscream." Soundwave chokes out, his voice shaky and quiet. I squeeze him a bit tighter.

"No problem." I can't help but smile. I haven't heard a voice so innocent since Skywarp was little. Shutting my optics, I rest my chin on the back of Soundwave's

shoulder. I feel him shift but I don't move myself, just let him move. The tape deck moves forward closer to me an inch or so, his knee bumping into mine. His arms still around me his head pulls away, but before I can think about opening my optics, Soundwave's hand covers them. "Soundwave?" I mumble.

"Do you trust me Starscream?" He asks out of the blue. Well the question was sudden but at least I had an answer.

"Y-yes." I can feel him looking at me, those lovely golden optics just waiting. The tape deck makes a small humming noise but doesn't remove his hand from my line of sight. I just can't help but wondering why he needs me to trust him? Perhaps he needs to know I'm always here for him or some other telepathic thing like that.

Suddenly I feel soft lip components press against my own, Soundwave's to be exact. Soundwave is…_kissing _me…he's…_Primus! _His free hand ghosts over my right wing, causing a shiver to slither up my spinal structure.

Okay, on one hand I let him do this, what happens then? He gets needed care and security, boosts his confidence, helps him forget our _glorious leader_, and it's not too bad for me either.

On the other: I make things awkward, it makes his condition worse…yeah.

Well I believe the obvious choice here is…obvious.

I move my arms to the sides of his face, shutting my optics even though they are still covered. Apparently it doesn't surprise the tape deck at all, for he finally removes his hand and puts it on the back of my head. His hand stroking my wing moves to bother the sensitive space on my lower back, causing a tingling sensation again.

Am I going to let him do all the work, not this Seeker! My inability to be still causes my servos to begin to wander, one finding its way to Soundwave's antennae and the other the sensitive glass on his front. I trace the rim of the glass and gently prod at his antennae; this draws a miraculous noise from the slightly larger mech. Between a whimper and a moan, he broke our kiss to make the adorable noise.

The look on his flushed faceplate was priceless when he realized the sound he made and the fact I was smiling at him, holding in a laugh. I move both hands back to his face and smash our lips together again, his arms moving around my waist again as well.

_**Soundwave's POV**_

I pull him forward, basically onto me, prompting those long white legs to straddle my lap. Starscream does so gracefully, resting delicately where I believe he belongs. Maybe this is what I've needed all along, to forget about Megatron. To ease the pain caused from vorns of harsh sensual activity with the war lord. One thing's for sure; I do enjoy controlling the little Seeker like this, I wasn't made to be a bottom 'bot.

I pull away from Starscream's flushed face and press my lips to his neck, enticing a delicious moan from the more slender mech. I feel his hands on my glass again, and the middle of my back. I have to admit, the little Seeker had a way with his servos; able to bother you in all the right ways.

I run my glossa over his neck cables, biting gently once or twice. Apparently in response to my nipping, Starscream rubs the seam of my tape latch, sending a tingle through my system. I moan softly against his neck, the vibration sending the flyer into a melody of whimpers and gasps as his ventilation system kicks on.

I pull back and look Starscream in the optic, his faceplate flushed and looking quite adorable. "What?" He asks smiling.

His optics are clouded and a bit pale but tell me something I've never heard before. Something I never gave Megatron and Megatron never gave me; need, want…love. "Nothing." I smile back. I am enjoying having Starscream see me without any of my facial armor on. He looks at me like he can see me now, like he cares; perhaps my visor blocked all that.

Another move of Starscream's hand causes me to jolt a bit. Pale blue fingers brush the sensitive buttons on my upper pelvic plating. I release a small gasp and shut my optics, lowering my head slightly. He stops and looks at me with concern in his now clear crimson.

"Are you alright? I can stop if you-" I cut him off by kissing him deeply again.

"No, it's just…physical memory, of Megatron's touch. It was never…pleasurable for me." I nearly cower at the thought of large dark hand gripping my armor, an all-too large spike destroying the walls of my valve…

I cringe and curl in on myself again, a fresh wave of tears threatening to spill from my optics. Almost at the verge of crying, I feel the now familiar arms around my shoulders and lips on mine. Starscream puts more emotion into the kiss than I thought possible. He pulls away slowly and stares me in the optic, firmly but caringly.

"Listen Soundwave. If you're having a hard time with the memories, then I don't mind stopping. If you know this is what you need, then you instruct me what to do or do what you'd like to me." Starscream says, sitting back and resting on his hands.

If it's possible, my face flushes a brighter red and my spark pulses a bit faster in its chamber. He was too perfect to be stuck as a soldier for the Decepticons. But his looks aren't all I find myself loving. The fact he can _care _about someone like me is a miracle worker to begin with. "I'd rather not take advantage of you if that's alright." I respond, trying not to stare at the mech.

Starscream moves forward again and touches my face lightly, reminding me of the scars on my cheek plates from earlier; as if the old ones weren't bad enough. He smiles softly and ever so lightly runs his thumb over the cuts. "Don't be ashamed Soundwave. I have scars like you wouldn't believe." The Seeker hums quietly. "These will heal, but even if they didn't…" He kisses my lips gently again, "I wouldn't mind."

This particular mech has his way with making you feel fuzzy inside doesn't he? I move to kiss him again, placing my hands on either of his shoulders. In the process I push him onto his back, apparently surprising him because he let out an adorable little squeak when his back hit the sheets. His hand shoots to his mouth and his faceplates light up like Christmas. I can't help but chuckle quietly.

I lean down and kiss his mid plating, using one hand to rub his cockpit glass. Starscream moans and throws his head back, cooling fans switching on again to cool his rapidly heating system. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep my own fans from whirring to life.

While focusing on the little Seeker's cockpit, I see something disturbing out of the corner of my optic. "Starscream." I get his attention, removing my hands from him. He sits up slightly and looks to where I'm looking, flinching suddenly.

On the inside of his thighs, long, painful looking scars riddle the white armor. Starscream intakes quickly and pulls his legs back and holds them to his chest. "Wh-what happened to you? Those look terrible are you alright?" I ask, shocked at the multitude of the injuries.

"They're old. You're not supposed to be able to see them, but sometimes the cover up doesn't work." The tri-colored mech says self-consciously. The tortured look on his faceplate worried me. I move forward and pull the little Seeker into my arms, nuzzling the side of his helm.

"What did you tell me earlier?" I ask with a small smile. Starscream looks up as a tear rolls down his grey face. I use my thumb and wipe it away gently, kissing him on the lips lightly. "You shouldn't be ashamed of them." I state as he had earlier.

"Yes I should. I'm so dirty Soundwave, you wouldn't believe. I don't deserve to be near any 'bot like you." The little Seeker sobs, jerking his head away. I hold on tight enough so that he can't squirm away entirely. "I wasn't always a soldier. I at one time couldn't fight. I couldn't stop him, I-I…" Starscream begins crying at an apparently long lost memory, shaking violently in my arms.

"Starscream please. Whatever happened wasn't your fault!" I say, having a vague idea of what happened thanks to my telepathy. "Tell me, I won't criticize you." I admit, trying to stay calm. The red mech stops trying to get away and leans against my chest.

_/Flashback/_

_**3**__**rd**__** person**_

"Get over here flyer!" A purple Decepticon shouts at Starscream. The tri-colored mech ignores him and turns back to the table he was cleaning in the bar. Shockwave stands up and walks over, after being urged by his buddies. He grabs Starscream's wrist, causing the younger flyer to snap around with a scowl.

"Go fuck yourself Decepticon!" The red mech spits, yanking his arm away. Shockwave growls and wraps his arms around Starscream's middle, lifting him off his pedes and covering his mouth.

The purple mech leans near the smaller 'bots' audio receptors, "I'd rather fuck you." He whispers. Hearing this Starscream's optics widen considerably and he thrashes around, trying to get free. But with no other bar tenders or waiters around, there was no one to help the flyer.

Shockwave hauls Starscream out the back door and puts him back on his pedes against a wall. Before the brighter colored mech can yell, Shockwave forcefully pushes him to his knees, taking off his own lower pelvic plating. Is throbbing spike pressurized from teasing the waiter, Shockwave forces it into Starscream's mouth cavity. The Seeker tries to pull away, but thanks to wall can't. He ends up having to take as much of his assailant's member as he can.

Shockwave moans as he moves in and out of Starscream's mouth, trickling Trans fluids with every push. Poor Starscream gave up when he was forced against the wall standing up had his pelvic plating ripped off. Not bothering to prepare the lithe Seeker, Shockwave pushes his large spike to be fully engulfed in Starscream's valve. Starscream cries out in pain, in special pain because he was a virgin. Tears pour from the mech's optics as he is roughly hammered into; his hands claw at the brick walls, breaking thin metal skin and causing his digits to bleed. Energon and lubricant leak from Starscream's damaged valve, paining the flyer to extreme points.

"Oh yes! Little Seeker! Gah!" Shockwave groans in pure delight as he physically and emotionally scars the much younger 'bot.

_/Flashback end/_

_**Soundwave's POV**_

Dear Primus! Shockwave…I never would've guessed _him!_ I hold the sobbing mech impossibly closer, not wanting to ever let go. And Primus it almost happened to him _again_ back in the bar. "Starscream. Primus save you. I'm so sorry." It's all I could say, what else can I do? Other than kick Shockwave's sorry purple ass the next time I see him!

The little Seeker shaking in my hold looks up at me with a tear stained faceplate. "I couldn't…couldn't do anything. H-He just…I was s-still a virgin! Du-Do you know what it's like to be taken like that?" Starscream cries, having a hard time forming words through his sobs wracking his body. I pulled him against my chest and kissed the top of his helm.

"Megatron took me." I say quietly, not wanting to act mean. The shaking stops and the little Seeker looks up at me again. He had a look of surprise and shock. "He threw me over my own desk and just…took me." It was hard to recall the memory, but if it would make Starscream feel better, he would pull out his spark. "No matter how many times I _begged _him to stop…he wouldn't." I keep from crying, just trying to be strong. "It hurt so badly. I thought I would never feel good ever again, I thought I could never share my story with someone who would…understand." I say, gently taking hold of the little Seeker's chin. I pull him up to another gentle but firm kiss, which he eagerly returns. I reach down carefully and gingerly stroke Starscream's inner thighs. He flinches a bit but settles and focuses more on kissing me.

I bring his legs forward back around my lap and pull him against my chest again. Starscream un expectantly eases his glossa past my lips and grinds his pelvic plating against mine. I moan into his mouth feeling the heat mount in my core and wanting spike. I can feel the little Seeker smirking into the kiss, regaining confidence obviously.

"Starscream." I break the kiss as a thought comes to processor. He looks at me questionably, optics a bit wider than normal. "Listen I know we're both doing this in clear mind, but…are you wanting to…well. Go all the way."

_Wooooow _Soundwave _that _didn't sound childish at all! Bad choice of words aside, Starscream _humph_ and puts his arms around my neck. "I'm not sure yet. I'm pretty worked up about a few different things right now." The little Seeker admits, not looking me in the optics.

Great, he's confused. He doesn't _actually _love you. He just needed a bit of positive attention, well so did I, I suppose. But then again I think I lo-…**No! **I shouldn't feel that way towards a higher ranking officer, or any other soldier for that matter. Perhaps I'm just confused as well.

_**Starscream's POV**_

I feel bad; I'm just so messed up in my processor right now. I don't…know if I love him. I know I'm not minding being wrapped in his arms and kissing the slag out of him, but is _that _really love…or just the natural sense of arousal.

"You guys should hurry and end this because Megatron is coming back." Hook says with a smirk, standing in the same doorway he had disappeared through a while back. Soundwave literally picks me up and sets me back on my pedes next to the berth and lies back himself. I move to the end of the adjacent berth and lean against it casually.

Then the doors to the med bay open and the silver frame of Megatron steps in. I look up and salute him, trying not to get yelled at right now. "Any changes?" He asks me.

"He's been resting. His energon flow is back to normal." I point out, glancing at the monitor discretely. Megatron seems pleased with the answer and turns to Soundwave, who rests on his elbows as if he just woke up.

"Doing better I assume." The larger mech asks Soundwave. The tape deck nods without a word and sits up. Megatron moves over to him and smiles deviously. "Starscream. You're dismissed." He says to me. My spark skips; I've never seen Megatron look at anyone that was before. Soundwave looks at me, pale golden optics begging; he really didn't want to be left alone with Megatron.

Primus why do _I _always have to make the hard decisions. "Uh with all due respect Lord Megatron," I choke out pas my better judgment. Our leader's crimson optics glare at me and I can't help but regret having a vocalizer. "I was having a conversation, and I must request you allow us to finish it." Primus if that wasn't the hardest thing to say politely. Megatron turns and sizes me up, quite easily winning. He raises his gun and doesn't delay in firing into my chest.

It goes black for a moment from such a close blast, but I'm too durable to be knocked out by only _one _of his blasts. "I suggest you leave before I decide not to show you mercy." The gunformer growls with a small grin.

"_Mercy? _You just fired at me point blank! How's that mercy?" I growl back.

….What….I was making a point.

Megatron scowls at me and raises his gun once again before a voice calls him. "Megatron!" Soundwave shouts from his berth. The silver tyrant turns to his TIC, who glares at him with now bright red optics. Getting the hint, Megatron lowers his arm and grabs my collar plating. He shoves me out the door harshly and goes back to Soundwave.

"No!" I couldn't help but be unhappy with myself. I knew if he saw Soundwave was okay he would…I don't even want to think about it. With nothing else to do for the tape deck, I skulk towards my quarters.

_Weeeeeeeeell, there ya' go. Chapter two. I kinda wanted to get to the interfacing in this chapter, but there's a lot more kinky stuff I can do in the next few chapters now that I haven't._

_Also stay tuned for a TFA Blitzwing/Himself fic that I'm writing out of pure idiocracy. Please review and subscribe to the story for new chapters!_


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